Sadness that escalates into a crippling grief.
You know that moment when it seems that the pain within you has reached a tipping point?
Any more hurt tossed at you and you’d be tipped into an ocean of vague nothingness—tipped off your sanity and stripped off your ability to regain your rationality.
This post is about that moment.
I’d like to contemplate on the process of recovering from this moment. Today, I was caught up in such a moment. But, I managed to climb out of that agony a little faster than usual, finding my grounding and moving forward.
Understanding the workings of how my mind successfully dealt with this emotionally debilitating moment, is something that would hopefully help me to handle such similar moments in the future.
Sort of like discovering a self-help therapy through reflection. I wish that the pointers I provide below will be of some help to you too.
During that moment–
My heart beats a little too fast that I feel too paralysed to hold onto faith and keep my sanity under control. My mind feels like a tornado has just took shape within its vicinity—almost as if the powerful whirlwinds might just rob me of my stability as my vision slowly starts fading away.
To sum it up, it is a moment when emotions reign over me—emotion plays King.
How, now, do I gain control over these negative emotions so that I can healthily acknowledge them, take a step over them and pull away from their harmful grip?
Here are 5 important factors to remember.
1) Negative emotions are akin to poison
When you choose to stubbornly hold onto your anger, sorrow etc (perhaps because you strongly believe that as a victim of injustice, you deserve to feel angry and upset)….
Do you realise that you can’t exactly expect to both heal and retain poison in your bloodstream?
Want to feel better? Let go of your poisonous negative emotions.
2) Enough with the blame game.
Try not to play the blame game when you are emotionally unstable.
If you still choose to stick your foot into the blame game, you might end up falling into two pertinent categories of people.
People in Category A, usually blame themselves for every possible mess that happens—they take on the problems of others and somehow skilfully manage to draw connections that lead to them being victims of the accusation!! If you are too hard on yourself, every unnecessary stab you take at yourself is going to eventually send you down into a grave that you have so graciously dug up for yourself.
People in Category B are the exact opposite. They are usually blind to their flaws and are excellent at pointing fingers to every possible potential problem source around them. It is always either HE or SHE who should be blamed.
Darn, it is tough trying to reason with such people. Any attempt at reasoning with them when they are emotionally volatile is going to create another natural disaster of emotional release.
What do you do then if you don’t play the blame game??
Try to think about something else other than the subject of the conflict and the people involved in the conflict. That is going to be difficult because when you are emotionally consumed, you tend to link these aggravating subjects to every aspect of your life—they somehow turn into masters of your fate.
I have trained myself to retain an awareness of the statement in bold that appears to be daunting but is actually, far from the truth. I suppose it takes time to build this consciousness.
3) An overly emotional man is irrational
Yes indeed. Don’t take everything that a mad man says to heart—madness makes a man say things he never would have conceived of being able to say. (Yes, I speak from having experienced terrible anger management problems in the past)
Also, try not to make important decisions when you feel caught up in a depressive/angry state, mind burrowed in sadness. You are overly emotional. Hence, you’re most likely irrational. Let your aggravating emotions pass.
Making a decision is usually an important process that requires clarity and is driven towards a specific purpose. I can liken that to aiming an arrow to the centre of a dartboard. Why would you attempt to aim an arrow to the centre of a dartboard when you are not standing on stable ground? Heck, you’re reverberating with violent emotions! Make a decision and aim that arrow when you are stable. Your chances of getting it right will naturally and most logically be higher.
4) Listen to music
Alternative. Pop. Reggae. Classical. Rock. Whatever, really. Music has a transforming potential.
Even a sad piece of music has the potential of being cathartic—comforting you and letting you off your heavy emotions. (At least, that is what I feel and it might not work for everyone)
5) Adversity is your teacher
Honestly! Adversity is a great teacher. I am telling you this from experience. I can also say this because I have faced adverse situations as such and through them, I have gained sufficient knowledge and a different perspective that has in turn, aided me to write this post!
Struggle out of adversity and you will have gathered such valuable lessons to share with the world.
As Groucho Marx says,
“Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light”.
My dear readers, those are the lessons that I have learnt and would like to share with you. When you encounter severe emotionally stifling moments, what do you do? Please do share your thoughts with me so that we can learn from one another!